Traffic

      The worst nightmare for anyone with a fast car and/or a lead foot.  This is the product of when drivers of less confidence, experience or just a lack of that stuff that makes us driving enthusiasts tick converge onto a road at the same time in a large quantity.  Although in some places it is simply sheer volume that causes back-ups, many times it can be avoided.  I have discovered the solution to this problem and it comes as a simple piece of metal on the floor of your car all the way to the right of the driver's floor compartment.  It is called a gas pedal and when used properly, can achieve magical things.  These things go on to include achieving speeds greater than 35 miles per hour, allowing for the escape from accidents and finally, the smooth transitioning into a traffic flow at the speed of the road, and not the speed of the on-ramp.

      What people seem to be lacking is an understanding of how to utilize this magical device in their cars, so instead they just leave it alone and don't bother to use it.  I am here to clear up any misunderstandings on how to use this device.  You take your RIGHT foot, lift it up off of the brake pedal where it has rested for miles, and using the balls of your feet, press down on the gas.  You may experience a new sensation sort of like you are being pushed back into your seat by an invisible force.  This is good, it is called acceleration and should be familiar to you in no time.  After you get this new use of a crucial part of the car figured out, magical other things will happen.  People will no longer shout at you as they pass you on the highway to "get off the road" and to "learn how to drive" because i just did it for you.  You will also now be able to re-paint your car and not worry about the paint because no angry drivers who have been stuck behind you for the last 3 hours wont try to side swipe or key your car.

      Just remember, with great power, comes great responsibility.